Friday, April 09, 2010
Hello dusty blog.
Realised that I feel lost. The albeit single-sized, lower level of the bunk bed in my now-mother's room seems like it's too big, even with my bolster to hug. Last night I spent half the night thrashing left and right, half-asleep. The bed felt so empty and wide. At bb's house, at least I have him to hug. We squeeze in his single-sized bed but I like it just fine cos we can sleep cosying up to each other. My bed doesn't reside in my room.
Thinking about it, I've never had my own room in my entire 21 years of life and somehow right now, I wish I do.. A space where I can have a proper study table, a space where I can decorate, a sanctuary that belongs to me~ Whenever I'm using the laptop/mugging for exams, it's always on the table in the room where mum and I share, but mummy's habit is to blast the radio in her room when she comes back home from work and usually turns in before I do. I hate to disturb her entertainment and sleeping time.. She works almost every day.. So where do I go..
Things are too complicated at home to wish for that now in this current house. The only way to have my own room is prolly if 1) we buy a bigger house, 2) mummy and papa reconciles (okay that is like saying let me fly a rocket to the moon right now) or 3) I move out.
All of the above sounds nearly the impossible at this point in time.. The only place closest to my own space is with bb, and being with him there makes me feel so at ease.
Somehow I feel like.. I'm growing up.
On a sidenote, I'm a very proud of my dear bb- he survived Day One of cold turkey :DDD He deserves a very big MUACKS!
Realised that I feel lost. The albeit single-sized, lower level of the bunk bed in my now-mother's room seems like it's too big, even with my bolster to hug. Last night I spent half the night thrashing left and right, half-asleep. The bed felt so empty and wide. At bb's house, at least I have him to hug. We squeeze in his single-sized bed but I like it just fine cos we can sleep cosying up to each other. My bed doesn't reside in my room.
Thinking about it, I've never had my own room in my entire 21 years of life and somehow right now, I wish I do.. A space where I can have a proper study table, a space where I can decorate, a sanctuary that belongs to me~ Whenever I'm using the laptop/mugging for exams, it's always on the table in the room where mum and I share, but mummy's habit is to blast the radio in her room when she comes back home from work and usually turns in before I do. I hate to disturb her entertainment and sleeping time.. She works almost every day.. So where do I go..
Things are too complicated at home to wish for that now in this current house. The only way to have my own room is prolly if 1) we buy a bigger house, 2) mummy and papa reconciles (okay that is like saying let me fly a rocket to the moon right now) or 3) I move out.
All of the above sounds nearly the impossible at this point in time.. The only place closest to my own space is with bb, and being with him there makes me feel so at ease.
Somehow I feel like.. I'm growing up.
On a sidenote, I'm a very proud of my dear bb- he survived Day One of cold turkey :DDD He deserves a very big MUACKS!
♥
♥ Zen @ 12:47 PM.
